


Lies in Your Own Hand

by llaras



Category: American Idol RPF
Genre: M/M, Recreational Drug Use, Swing Set, Voted Off, Wishful Thinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-23
Updated: 2015-11-23
Packaged: 2018-05-03 01:09:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5270900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/llaras/pseuds/llaras
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Matt's going home. He and Adam spend some time together after the results show.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lies in Your Own Hand

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the very gracious and very patient [](http://tahsha13.livejournal.com/profile)[tahsha13](http://tahsha13.livejournal.com/) who bid successfully on my services in the Donor's Choose auction. Many thank yous to [](http://quiesce.livejournal.com/profile)[quiesce](http://quiesce.livejournal.com/) for the usual excellence in beta skills and overall fabulousness. 
> 
> Note: this was originally posted 3-23-2010. I would like to finish the other parts some day, but in no way promise that will happen. The thought was later chapters will include Adam/Anoop, Adam/Kris and Adam/Anoop/Kris/Matt, overall pairing will be Adam/Kris.

"You found me." Matt doesn't seem surprised when Adam steps off the paved walkway and onto the grass, but he doesn't sound happy, either.

"Allison said you might be out here." Adam's already dressed down for the night, freshly showered, all traces of makeup and hair product gone. He's wearing jeans and a black hooded sweatshirt. "I didn't even know this was back here." He grabs the swing next to Matt. It makes a creaking noise when he sits down and he raises his eyes to the frame above them in alarm. "Jesus."

Matt turns away sharply, wipes at his eyes. The movement brings the two chains of his swing together with a clack, right above his head, and he turns again and again until he can't twist them anymore. The spin when he lets go and allows them to untwine is dizzying and he takes a moment to catch his breath. "I guess the people who lived here before had kids."

"Yeah." Adam is looking back at the mansion while he slowly moves back and forth. He isn't quite swinging, he's too tall for the playground set, really. But he's kind of swaying, letting his boots scuff the dirt and grass every now and then. "So, is this your secret hiding place, then?"

Matt laughs. "Not so secret, apparently. Kind of silly to have a secret hideaway."

Adam shrugs. "I don't think so. I have one too, you know. I think most of us do. Megan liked the laundry room, said the noise the dryers made was comforting. And Anoop was always sneaking away to that empty library on the second floor."

Matt nods in agreement. He has yet to meet Adam's eyes.

Adam clears his throat. "So, say you got three wishes. What would you ask for?"

Matt's laugh is bitter this time. "C'mon, man. You really have to ask?"

"No, I mean, like wishes that someone could really grant for you, not like magic wishes."

"Someone like you?"

"Yeah. Sure."

Matt takes his time responding. He starts to swing in earnest, legs pumping as he goes higher and higher. Soon he's reached the point where letting go would fling him out and forward into the air for a brief moment in time, before landing with a thud, hands and knees bruised, stained green from the lawn. A baby bird not quite ready to fly, but determined to try anyway.

He doesn't let go. It takes another minute or so for the swing to slowly decrease its arc, until Matt's lined up with Adam again. "Don't tell me that everything will be okay and that there's always the tour to look forward to. I'm so sick of hearing that."

Adam starts to say something, but he nods instead. "Wish granted," he says in a mock solemn voice.

Matt smiles. "And! Promise me you won't let Danny win."

Adam barks out a laugh. "I'll do my best. You get one more."

They are swaying from side to side now, mostly in sync, with an occasional clink and shoulder bump as their swings collide. "Okay. What if I asked you for a kiss?"

Adam goes completely still. "You -"

"I mean, it doesn't have to mean anything, you know?" Matt's voice is almost shrill as he hurries to make himself understood. "Just like, goodbye and good luck."

"You ever -"

"I almost let a guy blow me once."

"I thought you were... wait. Almost?"

"We got interrupted."

Adam shakes his head and his shoulders quake with the laughter he's mostly holding inside. "I see. Well, that changes everything. Sure, why not."

Matt seems surprised. "Really?"

"Yeah. It's just a kiss." He reaches over and stops Matt's momentum with one sure hand, pulls the chain, and with it the swing and Matt, closer. Adam's eyes shine with amusement. "Pucker up, baby."

Matt snorts, but he leans in, bringing the remaining distance between their chests to mere inches. He breathes in, quick, and then presses his mouth to Adam's briefly before pulling back.

Adam is watching him very closely. His lips quirk up at the corner. "That's the kind of kiss you give to your mother. Is that the kind of kiss you wanted?"

"No?"

Adam releases his hold on Matt's swing and stands up. He takes a moment to stretch while Matt gets his bearings back. "Come with me." He holds a hand out.

Matt stands with his help. "Where are we going?"

"To _my_ secret hiding place."

 

Someone had suggested a game of hide-and-seek their first week in the mansion, a way to get to know where everything was. Adam agreed to play, but once he found his spot, a linen closet in the basement, he quickly locked the door behind him and decided to take the opportunity to take a nap.

It looked like more of a storage room, the blankets and sheets and towels far nicer than the ones the Idols had been provided. And there was plenty of room for him to stretch out, the closet was twice as big as the bathroom in his last apartment and once he found the pillows stacked on the top shelves, Adam started making a plush nest.

That nest only got more and more complex as the weeks wore on and having a place to get away from the others proved to be a great survival tactic. Adam always kept his phone on, just in case something came up, but for the most part he could sneak an hour or two of alone time at least a couple times a week. It was heaven.

Matt gives a low impressed whistle as Adam ushers him into the small room. "Nice."

Adam hums in agreement as he unlatches and opens a small window near the ceiling. It's unlikely anyone would be outside to notice the small amount of light that might escape, but he turns off the overhead lamp and lights a few small candles just in case. He is using a small wooden step stool as a table. There's a metal incense holder shaped like an elephant on the top rung. He lights the stick of incense in it and they both settle into the pile of blankets and pillows as it starts burning.

"Man, all we need now is -" Matt trails off as Adam reaches under one of the pillows and pulls out a small plastic baggie. It contains a single joint. "Dude." Matt looks around in amazement. "You hiding any food in here? I didn't eat much at dinner."

Adam smiles and unearths a bag of dried cherries, a package of wheat crackers and a couple bottles of water. "It's not much..."

"No, hey, this is great. Thanks."

They smoke and snack for a while in companionable silence. Adam kicks off his boots and wiggles his toes happily. "What time do you have to leave tomorrow?"

"Sometime in the morning. They're putting me up in a hotel room for the night and then I fly home the day after. It's crazy. I still need to pack."

"Do you -"

"Can we not talk about any of that?"

Adam nods and takes a last toke from the joint and passes it to Matt. "Sure. We can talk about something else?"

"Did you bring me back here to talk? Or for something else?" Matt's words are less frantic now, the pot having smoothed out his nerves, mellowed the jangle and snap of his movements.

One of Adam's eyebrows goes up as he studies Matt. "Up to you. Whatever you need."

 

It turns out that what Matt needs is a heavy makeout session, complete with traded handjobs and long, lush kisses.

Adam knows this is a one time deal and since it's not something he has even once considered happening at all, he's fine with that. He's finally started to adjust to being single again, and Matt's mostly straight and has a semi-serious girlfriend situation back home. This is just a distraction, one small moment in their friendship that he's pretty sure isn't a mistake. And it's really fun to get off with someone he thinks is nice and attractive without having to worry about what comes next.

Matt's a bit tentative at first, it takes him a few minutes to get into it and do more than just kiss back, but Adam's patient and gives him time to warm up and get comfortable with it all. It's a bit awkward, maybe because they're both tired, or maybe because they are both thinking of other people. It's hard to say, but it's a friendly kind of awkward. They don't talk much, but they do laugh.

They're both sprawled out afterwards, staring at the flickering shadows the candles are projecting onto the ceiling. "Huh," Matt says.

Adam tucks himself back into his jeans and passes a hand towel to Matt. "Huh? That's all you have to say?"

"Yeah. I don't know."

"You're okay? I mean, I know this isn't your usual thing."

Matt snorts and throws the towel back at Adam. "That's not it, it doesn't have anything to do with you being a guy. It's more of, it's because you're my friend, you know? I don't want to fuck that up."

"You didn't fuck it up. We didn't fuck it up. You'll see." Adam sits up and reaches for his boots, pulls them on. "I'm not going to pretend that sex isn't a usually big deal, but sometimes it's okay for friends to comfort each other that way, I think." Adam groans and buries his face in his hands. "Maybe I'm not saying this right."

"No. I get it. It's cool." Matt sits up and wraps an arm around Adam's shoulders. "I do feel a little better."

Adam smiles. "Endorphins." He kisses Matt on the cheek before getting to his feet. "I'm going to go, but you can stay here if you want. Just make sure the candles are out before you leave. I'll clean things up later."

Matt flops back down and stretches his arms above his head. "Thanks. I think I will. And um, thanks." He blushes a little and closes his eyes. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight. See you in the morning." Adam shuts the door softly behind him and heads upstairs to see if anyone else is still up. He'll make excuses for Matt if he needs to and then head to bed. They've got another busy week ahead.


End file.
